Whacked on the Head by the Veil

I have observed a few newborn babies lately. They all look a little stunned (when they are awake), as though the veil between pre-mortal and Earth life was not drawn gently aside when they made their way into mortality. Instead, it was stretched taught and they had to slide, head first, crashing through it, perhaps looking back to see its broken shards reflecting in each other like mirrors on opposite walls, back and back, smaller and smaller, into the fog of a swiftly fading memory. Then suddenly they are cold and the light is bright; previously shrouded noises are sharp and loud--no wonder they cry.

We can speculate about when the veil is drawn across our memories after we are born. Newborns often gaze, wobble-headed and open-mouthed, just up and over the shoulder against which they are bundled, like they're looking up at something or someone. Maybe they can see Heavenly Father and Jesus, and their now-mortal brains are mesmerized by love, gratitude, and hope as they feel the Light of Christ fill their still-traumatized souls. Maybe they're looking at their loved ones in spirit, wishing they could talk about what's happening to them and how different it is to be trapped in this little, helpless body. Or how nice it is to be cooed at and swaddled and sung to and loved. Or how weird it is to feel hunger or discomfort; how surprising to wake up and realize you must have been asleep, and where am I now and where is--Mom? Dad? Hey, I'm here! Is somebody there?

When my daughter was born, my first words to her were, "Welcome to mortality!" The obstetrician thought that an unusual thing to say. But I wasn't welcoming her to a situation that ultimately ends in death--I was welcoming her, as my sister, to the next step on her journey toward exaltation. She seemed ready for action; she looked around at everything and everyone from the protection of a soft blanket and her father's arms. A nurse commented on how alert she was. I had dreamed about her before she was born, so I knew she was a girl (in those pre-ultrasound-for-everyone days) and what she would look like when she was about 6 years old. But I was filled with surprising, overwhelming love for this tiny person with a rosebud face and big blue eyes and such a lanky body (6 lbs, 8 oz., 22 inches). Her long, brain-surgeon-or-concert-pianist fingers were folded sideways against her mouth, contemplative. She and I had a rough time getting her here, and I thought I couldn't do that again, but I would have done it again, right then, to get her.

And her brother arrived a year and 12 days later, so I was sturdier than I thought.

We sometimes think our lives are difficult, and sometimes they are. But imagine the plight of the newborn, fresh from heaven, faced with corporeality, trying to manage with a brain that's not quite all connected and a body that won't cooperate, longing to make sense of an entirely new world of sensation and sound and sight, without language or even well-organized thoughts. At the mercy of everything, unless we protect them. Hold them close, comfort them, speak and sing of love. The journey through the veil can be a shock.

Book Review: Citizens of London by Lynne Olson

Citizens of London: The Americans Who Stood with Britain in Its Darkest, Finest Hour by Lynne Olson

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


This is an excellent book about Britain and the Anglo-American alliance during World War II. Especially good are the insights into life in London during the Blitz (indiscriminate Nazi bombing of civilian targets) and the relationship between Britain and the United States before America entered the war, during the time they fought together, and immediately after the war. The book focuses on three Americans who helped save England (and, by extension, the United States) by encouraging U.S. entrance into the conflict: Lend-Lease administrator Averill Harriman, newsman Edward R. Murrow, and the lesser-known but vitally important U.S. Ambassador to England, Gilbert Conant. The book is much broader than that, however, and contains many insights into the relationship between English Prime Minister Winston Churchill and U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt. The information about U.S. indifference to the suffering of the British people and our near-abandonment of Britain to invasion by the Nazis is shocking and shaming. The attitude of the British toward Americans and vice versa is also surprising when one considers the "special relationship" the two countries have had since WWII. If, like me, you are interested in British history, World War II, or both, you will enjoy this book.

Painting the Wall as a Background for Life and Evening Angels

Some time ago, we painted an “accent wall” in our family room. This was a big deal, because Alan and I have diplomas (five all together) but no skills, like knowing what’s wrong with the car or how to make a ball gown out of dish towels. Fortunately, our daughter Caiti (say “Katie”) has Painting Experience ranging from little ceramic Christmas towns to entire apartments.

After three trips to the paint store, we (not so much me) began Preparing the Surface--taping around the area to be painted, filling in nail holes, etc. One of those difficult lessons that you have to learn along the way is that, no matter how easy or fun some project looks, before you can get to the fun part, you must Prepare the Surface. By the time you’ve done that, you may not have time to finish and your back or another part may hurt. Take a shower and two ibuprofen. You’ll feel better.

Alan and Caiti were astonishingly strong, sturdy, perseverent, patient, and careful, tossing paint and father-daughter Hawkins DNA around like it was no big deal. My theory is that Alan’s six generations of LDS DNA--go to seven but only half for the kids--has enabled Alan, Caiti, and Brian to withstand everything from germs to evil with flair. My DNA was aching, as it sometimes does, and I couldn’t stand watching them paint for long, for fear that they would fall off something they were standing on (he’s 6’ tall; she’s 5’10”, but we have 9-foot ceilings). I have anxious, not-originally Mormon DNA. So I went to read “The Council of Elrond” in The Fellowship of the Ring.

Lo and behold, we ended up with two near-perfect coats of “Bracing Blue.” I love blue, and this is a great blue. So, I now present Everything I Learned in Life, I Learned from Watching Alan and Caiti Paint the Wall:
1. Unlike your hair, paint dries darker than it looks when it’s wet, so buy a 1-quart sample and see how it looks in different lights after it dries. Also known as “spend the money to get it right or you’ll regret it later.”
2. Prepare the surface carefully, even if you think it’s dumb. Also known as “spend the time and effort to get it right or they’ll both be wasted.”
3. Paint with someone you like. Also known as “spend time with your ever-more-amazing adult child.”
4. Be careful to stand on sturdy things and don’t overreach. Also known as “the law of gravity still applies to you.”


We decided not to do another painting project soon. We’re not 31, as Caiti is, although both Alan and Caiti recovered nicely. I love looking at the serene blue wall, especially where it frames our print of James Christensen’s Evening Angels--also serene. It would fit right in on a wall in Rivendell, perhaps on a blue wall in Elrond’s house, near a window with a waterfall softly roaring outside.

Book Review: The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande

This excellent book explores the notion of checklists as a way to deal with the complexities of medical practice (and by extension, any complex profession or aspect of life). Gawande draws upon the experience of pilots and construction managers, as well as doctors, to show how checklists can be designed to prevent "dumb mistakes." But he also shows how checklists can be used to aid communication among workers faced with a complex or even dangerous task--to the benefit of the overall effort (especially where that "effort" is a patient). After reading Gawande's book, I think that the use of well-designed checklists could greatly improve public health and the practice of medicine. He also made me think about areas of my life where I might use checklists to improve things. Well written and always interesting, <em>The Checklist Manifesto</em> demonstrates the thoughtful genius that won Gawande a MacArthur Foundation grant. Highly recommended.

The Kind(ness) of September

The song "Try to Remember," from The Fantasticks (music by Harvey Schmidt, book and lyrics by Tom Jones), asks us to "try to remember the kind of September/ when life was slow and oh so mellow." For me, September is not mellow--it has always had a brisk, back-to-school, new beginnings type of feeling. I love the scene in You’ve Got Mail where Meg Ryan asks Tom Hanks (by e-mail), “Don’t you love autumn in New York?” and his reply is about bouquets of sharpened pencils. New notebooks, new textbooks, and new routines are all part of the get-moving tradition of fall.

And yet, amid the bustle, there is a mellow, seasonal "kindness" about September--the relief from the heat of July and August, a promise of autumnal peace, cool nights after sunny days. Already there are splashes of orangey-red, visible out my kitchen window at the very tops of the mountains: the front range of the Wasatch is "tatting out glimpses of autumn-leave lace," as I wrote in a poem long ago. Soon the splashes will softly link and drape halfway down the mountain on some cold, rainy night. Perhaps a cap of snow will perch on the peaks.

September is a plan for an even mellower autumn to come. Check the cupboard for supplies of cinnamon and chocolate; air the quilts; admire the pumpkin in the garden; line up a shelf of books to read or read again. Seek the truths of preparation and conservation. Store up a new kind of energy, powered not by sun but by blazing leaves and soft embers.

Remember.

Book Review: Packing for Mars by Mary Roach

Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void by Mary Roach

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


All those questions you have occasionally had about how the astronauts do what they do in zero gravity are answered in this informative, funny book. Roach is very frank in her language when describing various bodily functions (and making the obvious humorous connections), as well as describing how the unprotected human body may react to various forces it may encounter in the event things go wrong--so that will put some readers off. I don't recommend reading the chapter on motion sickness while you're eating. But the author gives not only the how-they-do-its but also the how-they-figured-out-how-to-do-its in a refreshing and sometimes laugh-out-loud manner. One wonders how she got access to the people, places, and information she shares, because she gets all the info and the interviews you hoped for.



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Welcome to "Lisa Hawkins, reader and writer"

Welcome to my blog, "Lisa Hawkins, reader and writer." I will be posting personal essays and reviews of books, movies, art exhibits, TV shows, and other things about once a week and I hope you enjoy them. Comments are welcome. I am an avid reader and have been writing poetry, fiction, and other stuff all my life. I have also taught writing in Brigham Young University's Honors Program and work as a professional (and freelance) editor. I love my family (terrific husband, two wonderful grown-up children, an admirable and lovable daughter-in-law, and two brilliant and charming grandsons). I spend a lot of time on family history and genealogical research. I love art history, medieval history, and music of many genres. My idea of heaven is a user-friendly university with an incomparable library, where the books, music, and art you seek are always available! And going to a cozy home and loving family at the end of a day's (how long is a day in heaven?) exploration.

For 38 of my 55 years, I have been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (I hope to post a profile on Mormon.org soon), and while that informs everything I do, this blog is not intended to preach at anyone. I try to live my life with compassion and kindness; I do believe wholeheartedly that Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer; I know that our Heavenly Father wants us to live joyful lives, full of faith, hope, and charity. Service to others is the road to happiness. So there's a brief introduction to me. I hope you'll follow along!